Music

I am one of these people who was very blessed to be raised in a good Christian home by parents who loved me and loved The Lord. My Father, who was "Promoted to Glory" last year (a Salvation Army term for "went to heaven") worked hard in all aspects of youth programming at my home Corps (Salvation Army jargon for Church) in Coventry, England. Dad was a very keen fan of Salvation Army Brass Bands and a Baritone player in his day. Also, I grew up in a Salvation Army Corps that had a very fine Brass Band, something a young Mike Harris aspired to join.

As an 8 year old I was taught to play a cornet (a Brass Band Trumpet) and at 10 I was given a Tenor Horn (A Brass Band French Horn). At 12 I graduated to a Tuba, and it was the Tuba that caught my attention. My Band Leader took the time to teach me how to play the instrument, and have the ability to augment rather than hinder the band as a whole. Looking back, however, I realize that my Band Leader was doing much more...he was getting involved in my life. He would visit my home weekly to teach me, he wanted me to succeed, and I wanted to please him. His commitment to me made me work harder, and God has since used my limited tuba playing ability in the ways that only God can.

These days the foot is on the other shoe as I take something of the leadership role in music. The Fredericksburg Corps has a fledgling music program that will develop into The Salvation Army School of music. We have a young Christian Music Director who wants to teach young people music...but he also wants to get involved in their lives. We want the children who participate in our programs to aspire to something, and perhaps the effect of our music program on the our children could be the same as its effect on me...that they see what somebody is doing for them, and they want to please him by improving themselves.

What can you do?

I've just finished praying with a small family. Dad has colon cancer, Mom had left Dad - several times - but has just come back to him, and their young boy (about 3 years old) is in the middle of it all. Cancer caused Dad to lose his job and his home, so he sat in front of me sobbing. I listened, I prayed with them, I looked for a few band aid solutions, but none of it felt good to me. There was something in the story I was missing. There is a selfishness in the midst of their tragic situation that was the true root of their problem.

Why did Mom leave Dad and son, and why is she reluctant to stay with him in a hotel room? Dad was working for a "guy that cuts grass", and several years ago he worked at Labor Finders...why the struggle to hold down a job?

Next they sit down with one of our Case Managers, the Mom then leaves and sits in the car, Dad then leaves to speak to her...and then they drive away...and we are left scratching our heads! We offered a room for the night, and an interview that could get them into the local shelter tomorrow. I want them to talk with my Social Services Coordinator on Monday, and she can help them make a plan for their future...but they walked away from it.

Then, as I wonder where the logic is in all of this, I consider their little boy and wonder what on earth is happening to him. While Mom & Dad try to satisfy their own needs it seems to be at their sons expense. I am certainly not making light of the mans illness, nor an I judging the Mom for leaving, but I struggle to understand the lack of concern for their son.

Unfortunately we are seeing this more and more. The elevation of self. The idea that we must look out for number one is destroying the fabric of society, most notably the family, yet Jesus had a clear intention for us -that we live our lives for each other.

Mark 10:43b-45 "...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (NIV)

In life, especially in marriage, we must always remember this concept...we are not here to be served, but to serve.

Having a bad day?

Have you ever had a bad day? The kind of day where nothing seems to go right? You're just glad that it is over hoping that tomorrow brings something brighter. Then there are those bad days that bleed into tomorrow. The problem occurred today and tomorrow promises only consequences. Also, bad days are a matter of perspective. What is bad for one person might be insignificant to another. While one person is a habitual worrier, another let's things slide off them. But then there are the kind of days that will affect your life forever. Such a day happened for two little girls that I have recently fallen in love with - one is 6 and her older sister is 9. One day the girls returned home from school to be given news that would rock even the toughest of us to the core..."your Mom died today." Her passing was sudden, unexpected and completely devastating to these two little girls who are now being raised by their Grandmother, a most lovely lady who truly cares for these precious children.

I remember the first Sunday I went to pick the girls up for Church. The younger sister got on my van without reservation...but her older sibling felt sick and didn't come. This pattern continued for a few weeks, only for me to discover that she was afraid to leave her Grandmother for fear that when she got home Grandma would be dead. Yes, that was a bad day that would affect this little girl for the rest of her life.

I am delighted to say that she now attends The Salvation Army programs with little reservation. I always get a hug from both sisters, and she always gives me a beautiful smile and says, "do I know you?" I don't know for sure but I do wonder, when I see that delightful smile, if shes just glad to see me again and how much she must value seeing people again knowing that she will never, on this side of heaven, see her mother again.

Life has its trials, and sure has its bad days, but I hold dear the words of our Savior who said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." In this world people come and go, we are born and we die, but we must always remember, and I want these two little girls to understand, that Jesus will always be there for us.

When am I a Dad?

One of the challenges I experience as a Salvation Army Officer is the diversity in children. I'm not talking racially as much as personally. Some come from broken homes, some never knew a Father. Some have siblings while none of the children have the same Father. Some are angry, some are subdued. Some are bullies, some are bullied, many feel rejected, all want attention. This brings a mixture of personalities and issues...and then there are my own children.

It is easy for Christi and me to organize our children within the group, but what happens when my child is subject to bullying or the instigator of naughtiness. Yesterday I went outside of our building to find my 10 year old daughter lying in the fetal position, sobbing. This Father went to his daughter, held her, and asked her what happened. It turns out that three of the children in our program contributed to her condition with little or no apparent provocation from our daughter. As a Dad, my impulse was to take the other children to task...but I can't do that because I don't want the other children to see me separate my children as special (although, naturally, they are). The outcome was, I did nothing except advise my daughter on handle such situations in the future.

I constantly remind myself that I am the Father to many children. I am a role model, I am a disciplinarian, I am a Christian and I need to show love. At the Corps I cannot separate my own children from the rest for the benefit of my children and for the benefit of the ministry. God did not give His Son special dispensation. God did not put a protective wall around Jesus, nor did He strike dead any man that opposed His Son. God allowed His Son to be subject to the forces of the world, no matter what the cost, and He knew Jesus could take it.

I have to teach my own children that the world is a hard and imperfect place, and I cannot teach them that that by protecting them from its realities. I have to advise and guide them through it, and sometimes allow them to get hurt so they can be more aware in the future. It's hard being a Dad, but thank God for His example.